I had decided that the first Monday of every month would be just inspirational quotes that everyone would fall in love with. You would print them out and hang them on your bathroom mirrors and laminate for their wallets. This is because they would be so moving and perfect and meaningful. But then I realized that the same messages that hit someone in the heart and fill them with hope and peace may also hit someone in the heart and fill them with anger and resentment. Because that has happened to me. So here I present Inspirational Messages to Help You and Bother You.
How can they bother me, you ask? Well, here’s one story. My former father-in-law was a Baptist minister. A wonderful, devoted man. My ex-husband and I struggled with infertility for seven years before adopting August then surprisingly getting pregnant almost simultaneously and having our younger son seven months later. During those seven horrible years, after every failed attempt, when talking to my in-laws I’d hear my father-in-law say, “If it’s God’s will…” followed by some platitude about next time working out. And I’m not going to get into a religious conversation about IVF or my personal beliefs. But you can bet that I cannot imagine anyone wanting to believe in a God that would have me go through the anguish I did for seven years. Much less be reminded regularly by my father-in-law that God was the one controlling the process!
That being said, I know not every inspiring, hopeful message will be received the same way. So I tend to gravitate toward ones that might be funny, witty, or more real than others. Like not worrying about whether the glass is half empty or half full, just being happy there’s still something in the damn glass!
Having kiddos with Reactive Attachment Disorder is so much about survival and the day-to-day that words like “hope” and “peace” don’t rise to the top of the pile very often. Being more intentional about finding ways to get them into our daily thoughts is a challenge I encourage all of us to accept. Maybe forgetting the platitudes and just pondering those individual words for their intense simplicity is enough. Say them quietly to yourself and try and find time to focus on what hope and peace look like for you. And if you want to print this and tape it to your fridge, I won’t mind…
Until next time,